The God You Keep at Arm's Length

Over the next four Sundays we are asking one question out of the books of Samuel: உன் தேவனா, என் தேவனா? Whose God is He? Not whether you believe in தேவன். Most people in this room settled that long ago. The harder question is the pronoun. Is He your God, your very own - or only the pastor's God, your mother's God, the church's God?

David sang the answer at the top of Psalm 63, out in a dry wilderness with no water anywhere:

"O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water." - Psalm 63:1 (NKJV)

"தேவனே, நீர் என்னுடைய தேவன்; அதிகாலமே உம்மைத் தேடுகிறேன்; வறண்டதும் விடாய்த்ததும் தண்ணீரற்றதுமான நிலத்திலே என் ஆத்துமா உம்மேல் தாகமாயிருக்கிறது, என் மாம்சமானது உம்மை வாஞ்சிக்கிறது." - சங்கீதம் 63:1 (TAOVBSI)

என்னுடைய தேவன் - my God. That one small word is the whole difference between the man after God's own heart and the king God set aside. This morning we are going to watch the king who never once said it.

The King Who Never Said "My God" · "என் தேவன்" என்று சொல்லாத ராஜா

A word of Scripture works like a well-timed word: if you catch it the moment it is spoken, it feeds you; if you let it slide and try to reconstruct it an hour later, it does nothing. So take today's story as it comes.

Saul was the first king of Israel. தேவன் Himself raised him up. On the outside he was everything you would want in a king - tall and strong, a full head above every man around him, so that the tallest in the crowd only reached his shoulder. But inside that big frame was a frightened man. When Samuel first found him, Saul was not on a throne; he was out on the roads hunting for his father's lost donkeys. Samuel called him and said the LORD had chosen him to be king over Israel, and Saul's answer was, "I am from the smallest clan, the least of my family. How can you say I am king?" On the day he was to be presented, they went looking for him and could not find him - he had gone and hidden himself out of fear. That is the man God took and anointed.

Then the Philistines came up to fight, massing in rank after rank while Saul waited at Gilgal for Samuel to come and offer the sacrifice, because only the priest could do that. Samuel was delayed. The enemy kept swelling, the men began slipping away, and Saul panicked. He walked over and offered the burnt offering himself - a work that was never handed to him. Notice the exchange he made: the king's work he had been given, the work he claimed he was unworthy of, he abandoned; and the priest's work that was never his, he seized. Samuel arrived and said plainly that Saul had acted foolishly:

"You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the LORD your God, which He commanded you. For now the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever." - 1 Samuel 13:13 (NKJV)

"நீர் புத்தியீனமாய்ச் செய்தீர்; உம்முடைய தேவனாகிய கர்த்தர் உமக்குக் கட்டளையிட்ட கற்பனையைக் கைக்கொள்ளாமற்போனீர்; கைக்கொண்டிருந்தால் கர்த்தர் இப்பொழுது இஸ்ரவேலின்மேல் உம்முடைய ராஜ்யபாரத்தை என்றென்றைக்கும் ஸ்திரப்படுத்தியிருப்பார்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 13:13 (TAOVBSI)

That was the first warning. Saul's defence was one word: I was afraid. They were closing in, so I was afraid.

Some time later God gave him a second, clearer command through Samuel: go and strike Amalek, and spare nothing - not a person, not an animal. Wipe it all out. Saul took the whole army, went down, and struck the Amalekites. He cleared the place. But he kept back the best - the finest sheep and oxen, the choice, first-quality animals, and Agag their king. Then Samuel came, and Saul walked up to him cheerfully: "Sir, I have carried out the command." And from behind him came a sound. Maa. Samuel said, "What is that bleating in my ears?" Saul said, "The people brought the best of them to sacrifice to the LORD your God." The best of everything, he said, I brought it - to sacrifice to your God. And Samuel gave the verdict that the whole church memorised this week:

"To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams." - 1 Samuel 15:22 (NKJV)

"பலியைப்பார்க்கிலும் கீழ்ப்படிதலும், ஆட்டுக்கடாக்களின் நிணத்தைப்பார்க்கிலும் செவிகொடுத்தலும் உத்தமம்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 15:22 (TAOVBSI)

This time there was no third chance. God had already chosen another man in Saul's place, a man after His own heart. As Samuel turned to leave, Saul grabbed his robe and it tore in his hand, and Samuel said: just as this has torn, so the LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today. That is the ground we are standing on. Three times in this chapter Saul hands God back to the prophet with the same phrase - உம்முடைய தேவன், உம்முடைய தேவன், உம்முடைய தேவன், your God, your God, your God. Never once, என் தேவன், my God. From Saul's life we can name three things that grow in that gap.

The Sin Beneath the Sin Is Distance · தூரமே மூல பாவம்

"For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king." - 1 Samuel 15:23 (NKJV)

"இரண்டகம்பண்ணுதல் பில்லிசூனிய பாவத்திற்கும், முரட்டாட்டம்பண்ணுதல் அவபக்திக்கும் விக்கிரகாராதனைக்கும் சரியாயிருக்கிறது; நீர் கர்த்தருடைய வார்த்தையைப் புறக்கணித்தபடியினாலே, அவர் உம்மை ராஜாவாயிராதபடிக்குப் புறக்கணித்துத் தள்ளினார்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 15:23 (TAOVBSI)

First there is the sin itself. Saul rebelled - இரண்டகம். He would not simply take the correction. When Samuel said "you have done wrong," Saul did not say "yes, I was wrong"; he handed back an explanation. "I kept the good ones to sacrifice to your God. I kept them for the Lord, not for myself." We do exactly this. God shows us something, and instead of "yes, that is true, I will accept it," we produce a reason. "Why are you chasing after that money?" "I am going to give it to the ministry anyway; I earned it for the Lord's work." Nobody asked you to give; God asked you to stand in His presence and obey. Some people, even when you say "do not bite your finger," go on biting and explaining. Obedience is the first step, and to answer back with a justification is the rebellion.

But look under the rebellion. Why does he keep saying உம்முடைய தேவன், your God? Because there is a distance. If it had even been "I brought this to sacrifice to my God," that would have been closer. It was always "your God" - the prophet's God, the church's God, the God of his parents. And when தேவன் is somebody else's God, kept a little at a distance, you will still obey Him, but only on your own terms, only when the conditions suit you. Full obedience is impossible from that distance; you manage a half-obedience shaped to fit your situation. And half-obedience is sin too. If you obey halfway, it is still wrong. God is not looking for most of it. He is looking for all of it.

Here is the thing that should stop us. Saul's problem was never his knowledge. He knew who had anointed him. He knew who had brought Israel up out of Egypt. He knew the name, the history, the doctrine - all of it. His தியாலஜி, his theology, was intact. What Saul did not have was the one thing that matters: he did not know God. Everything about God was in his head, and there was no connection between him and God at all. That is why the Lord Jesus warned that on the last day many will come with a résumé of things done in His name, and hear the most terrible sentence in the Bible:

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven... And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'" - Matthew 7:21, 23 (NKJV)

"பரலோகத்திலிருக்கிற என் பிதாவின் சித்தத்தின்படி செய்கிறவனே பரலோகராஜ்யத்தில் பிரவேசிப்பானேயல்லாமல், என்னை நோக்கி: கர்த்தாவே! கர்த்தாவே! என்று சொல்லுகிறவன் அதில் பிரவேசிப்பதில்லை... அப்பொழுது, நான் ஒருக்காலும் உங்களை அறியவில்லை; அக்கிரமச் செய்கைக்காரரே, என்னைவிட்டு அகன்றுபோங்கள் என்று அவர்களுக்குச் சொல்லுவேன்." - மத்தேயு 7:21, 23 (TAOVBSI)

You can keep every rule in this book and still keep தேவன் at arm's length. Then you do it all, and none of it profits you anything. So do not measure your walk by the rules you keep. Measure it by how near He is. When He is truly my God, sin has almost no room to enter, because the moment I stumble I turn back and make things right with Him at once. The distance is what leaves the door open.

Distance Always Blames the Crowd · தூரம் கூட்டத்தின்மேல் பழிசுமத்தும்

"I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice." - 1 Samuel 15:24 (NKJV)

"நான் கர்த்தருடைய கட்டளையையும் உம்முடைய வார்த்தைகளையும் மீறினதினாலே பாவஞ்செய்தேன்; நான் ஜனங்களுக்குப் பயந்து, அவர்கள் சொல்லைக் கேட்டேன்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 15:24 (TAOVBSI)

At last Saul surrenders. "Yes, I have sinned." Good so far. But he cannot leave it there; he adds the cause: "because I feared the people and obeyed their voice." Everything he says is true. He really was afraid. The people really did pressure him. But watch what fear does to a man who is far from God: it sends him to hide behind the crowd. He never has the courage to come to the front. He slips to the back, takes the last chair, tucks his head down. You know this instinct. A teacher you cannot face walks into the class, and you who were loud a minute ago suddenly bend over your book and start writing. That is Saul. He put the people in front of him and hid behind them.

The root of it is the fear of men - wanting to please people. I will tell you honestly, this is a real battle. I never want to please anyone, and still the pressure comes, people bring their problem and press it against you until you think, easier to just do what they want and be done. But no. Whatever God says, that is the line. Whoever walks away from us, wherever they go, our work is to obey Him.

This is why some believers will not pray in public and will not give a testimony. "Yesterday everyone saw how I was talking; if I pray today, what will they think?" But God knows exactly how you were yesterday, and today He has washed you in His own blood and made you righteous - so pray. So testify. Do not let the crowd rob you of it. And parents, this fear reaches all the way into the home. There are fathers and mothers who tremble the moment their children walk in, who cannot open their mouth to say a plain word, even before the children are married. You cannot bring God the excuse "my son is stubborn, he will not listen." God says one thing: obey the word. If your child does wrong, you must still say, according to the word, that it is wrong. Say it even while the blows fall on your own head, and honour the command that children are to honour father and mother. Fearing people, pleasing people - it profits no one, least of all them.

Whoever it is you will not disappoint - that person is your real god. Saul feared the crowd more than he feared the LORD. If we go on wanting everyone, this one and that one, keeping them all happy, we end up gathering people and losing God, and He stays out at the edges. But make Him your own, and it turns the other way. Look at David. When God made David king, Scripture says the people gave him their hearts and submitted to him - David never had to flatter or manage anyone. He simply did his work. Many opposed him; his own men once spoke of stoning him. Those men were the distressed, the indebted, the discontented that he had gathered and fed (1 Samuel 22:2), and when their families were carried off from Ziklag they turned on him with stones in their hands. David did not run to soothe them. He went straight to God:

"Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him... but David strengthened himself in the LORD his God." - 1 Samuel 30:6 (NKJV)

"தாவீது மிகவும் நெருக்கப்பட்டான்; ஜனங்கள் தங்கள் குமாரர் குமாரத்திகளினிமித்தம் மனங்கசந்து, அவனைக் கல்லெறியவேண்டும் என்று சொல்லிக்கொண்டார்கள்; ஆனாலும் தாவீது தன் தேவனாகிய கர்த்தருக்குள் தன்னைத் திடப்படுத்திக்கொண்டான்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 30:6 (TAOVBSI)

"Lord, what shall I do?" That is the man for whom God is என் தேவன். When the crowd and heaven pull apart, whose voice do you obey? Do not fear people. Do not set out to please them. I tell the people who work for me the same thing: it is not I who pay your salary, it is God. Do the job well, obey what you are told - that is your duty and you must do it. But do not spend your life trying to please me, because pleasing me does nobody any good.

Distance Protects Its Reputation · தூரம் அதன் நற்பெயரைப் பாதுகாக்கிறது

"I have sinned; yet honor me now, please, before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may worship the LORD your God." - 1 Samuel 15:30 (NKJV)

"நான் பாவஞ்செய்தேன்; இப்போது என் ஜனத்தின் மூப்பருக்கு முன்பாகவும் இஸ்ரவேலுக்கு முன்பாகவும் நீர் என்னைக் கனம்பண்ணி, நான் உம்முடைய தேவனாகிய கர்த்தரைப் பணிந்துகொள்ளும்படிக்கு, என்னோடேகூடத் திரும்பிவாரும்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 15:30 (TAOVBSI)

Caught with nothing left to hide behind, Saul's request is not "wash me" but "honour me before the elders." And even here, in his one prayer for mercy, it is still உம்முடைய தேவனாகிய கர்த்தர் - the LORD your God - that he says he wants to worship. Reputation, not repentance. His concern is his own standing: give me some respect, do not tell them I am no longer king, do not reverse me in front of the people.

When God is far off, this is what a man is left with. He has to protect his own name, because he has to do everything himself. If God is at a distance, then I am the one who has to run to clear my debts, I am the one who has to fix every problem, I am the one who has to prove that I can. There is no rest in it. But when He is my God, I can lie down in the wilderness and sleep, because I am thinking of Him; I can rise early and seek Him, even in a dry place with no water. If He is far, it does not even occur to me to seek Him. So I pour my whole strength into guarding my name, my money, my future, my reputation, and I never once stop to rest.

We are more like Saul here than we admit. Someone tells us we have done wrong, and we say, "Yes, I have sinned, so please pray for me - pray that my debt gets paid, pray that my child's wedding comes together." The person who prays like that is still keeping God pushed away. If He were near, the response would be the opposite: "Yes, I was wrong. Please step outside a moment; I need to be alone with God, I need to ask His forgiveness and make things right." He would go seeking God, not seeking cover for his name and his position and his plans. All those things - the debt, the wedding, the future, the studies - are real. But chasing them while your sin sits unconfessed only shows how far off God has become.

Which Way the Heart Turns · இருதயம் எத்திசையில் திரும்புகிறது

Put the two kings side by side and the whole series turns on this hinge. Which was the greater sin - what Saul did, or what David did? Saul brought home some sheep and oxen to sacrifice to God. David saw another man's wife, took her, had her husband killed to cover it, and deceived the whole nation. If you weigh the deeds, David's is by far the greater. From the outside people would have cried that David should be stoned and rallied to Saul's side - "what did Saul really do wrong? he only meant to sacrifice." But in God's sight the accounting runs the other way, and the reason is not the size of the sin. It is the direction the heart turned afterward.

When Nathan pointed at David and said, "You are the man," David did not bargain. He did not send Nathan away to pray for him. God told him the punishment would come, and David did not say "take the punishment away." He fell:

"So David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the LORD.' And Nathan said to David, 'The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die.'" - 2 Samuel 12:13 (NKJV)

"அப்பொழுது தாவீது நாத்தானை நோக்கி: நான் கர்த்தருக்கு விரோதமாய்ப் பாவஞ்செய்தேன் என்றான். நாத்தான் தாவீதைப் பார்த்து: கர்த்தரும் உம்முடைய பாவத்தை நீக்கிவிட்டார்; நீர் சாகமாட்டீர்." - 2 சாமுவேல் 12:13 (TAOVBSI)

"I have sinned against the LORD. I fall into Your hands. Whatever punishment You give, I take it with my whole heart." One king turned to the crowd and asked for honour; the other turned to God and asked for nothing but mercy. To David, He was என் தேவன், my God. To Saul, He stayed உம்முடைய தேவன், your God, to the end.

So it is not how big the fall is. Small sin, great sin - that is not the measure. The measure is where the heart turns the moment after. Does it turn straight to God and make peace with Him, or does it stay inside, still arguing, still refusing to accept? We saw the same thing in a smaller shape during the testimonies this morning: a person cannot even rise from sleep until the mind first accepts that it is time to rise. Nothing changes in us until the heart agrees. When my relationship with God is right, everything else comes right. When it is not, then whether the sin is large or small, coming back to Him will feel impossibly hard - and that heaviness is itself the sign that He has not yet become my God.

He Is Your God, Not the Church's · அவர் உன் தேவன், சபையின் தேவன் அல்ல

Read the whole story again and you will hear Samuel doing one thing over and over. Saul keeps saying "not my God," and Samuel keeps handing God back to him: no, He is your God.

"You have not kept the commandment of the LORD your God, which He commanded you." - 1 Samuel 13:13 (NKJV)

"உம்முடைய தேவனாகிய கர்த்தர் உமக்குக் கட்டளையிட்ட கற்பனையைக் கைக்கொள்ளாமற்போனீர்." - 1 சாமுவேல் 13:13 (TAOVBSI)

Your God commanded you. Your God chose you. Samuel kept turning God toward Saul, and Saul kept pushing Him away, no, no, no, until the door closed. This morning the very same God is being offered to you, and this is the good opportunity of the hour: He is saying, this is your God. Not the church's God, not the pastor's God, not the God of your fathers. Each person's own God. நானே உன்னுடைய தேவனாய் இருக்கிறேன் - I am your God. What will you answer? Will you say "my God," or will you keep Him as somebody else's?

We do not want Saul's life. So do not carry God out the door today the way you carried Him in - held at a polite distance, worshipped as the church's God. Take Him as your own. Say it the way David said it: Lord, You are my God. Yes, I have sinned, and it may be a great sin, and that is true. But at once I turn toward my God and I run to Him.

Declaration Prayer · அறிக்கை ஜெபம்

பிதாவே, நான் இனி உம்மை 'உன் தேவன்' என்று விலக்கிவைக்கமாட்டேன். இன்று நான் உம்மை என் சொந்த தேவனாக ஏற்றுக்கொள்கிறேன். என் இருதயத்தை உமக்கு நேராக்கி, உம்முடைய சத்தத்திற்கு மட்டுமே கீழ்ப்படிகிறேன். இயேசுவின் நாமத்தில், ஆமென்.

Father, I will no longer hold You off as "your God." Today I take You as my own God. I turn my heart straight toward You, and I obey Your voice alone. In Jesus' name, Amen.

One Thing This Week · இந்த வாரம் ஒன்று மட்டும்

This week, in one honest moment of prayer, stop calling Him "the church's God" and call Him your God out loud. Own Him before you ask Him for a single thing. Whatever your situation - a full house or a dry wilderness with no water - say it and mean it: நீர் என்னுடைய தேவன். You are my God.

Next week - Part 2 of உன் தேவனா, என் தேவனா? We keep asking whose God He is, and whether the answer holds when the crowd pulls the other way.